Dating

October 5, 2007

The term “dating” is applied more loosely to situations involving two or more people than almost any other word in the English language.  After decades of use, there still remains the question of whether certain encounters actually count as a “date” and which do not.

Take, for instance, one person asking another out for a seemingly innocent cup of coffee.  Is that considered a date?  Well, it may be and it may not be.  It all depends on the expectations of the two people participating.  While the person that asked the other to coffee may have extended the invitation with the sole intention of enjoying the company of the other as friends, the askee may have assumed otherwise.  Likewise, the asker may have wanted the event to possibly carry on to something else, but the askee, while accepting, perhaps simply wanted to enjoy a cup of coffee and good conversation with someone that they consider a friend.

So adequate communication is imperative to unraveling the mystery of what a “date” actually is.  However, at the onset of any relationship, whether friendly or more, communication may be limited due to a number of reasons.  The first, and most obvious reason is that the two people are just getting to know one another better and so a long, drawn out explanation of what the event is supposed to be may take some of the spontaneity out of the entire process – and isn’t spontaneity and romanticism a true part of what makes relationships flourish in the beginning?

Probably the best form of protection that one has against miscommunication errors in dating is for people to keep their expectations of any “date” in check until the signals are clearer.  At least until the actual date occurs, that is.  For instance, if you are to ask someone out for dinner, keep the conversation light and trivial but remain interested in everything that they have to say.  Pay attention to subtle behavioral patterns that they exhibit to make sure that your subsequent responses are appropriate and warranted.  Though this can be construed by some as simple common courtesy, there is always room for mixed signals and eventually, disappointment.

The act of dating is a necessary and potentially very fun part of the budding relationship process between any two people.  It’s the time that you get to know each other well enough to decide whether you would like to take the relationship further.  If you give more and expect less during the process, you may be surprised to see that you will have a better time at simply having fun meeting new people and you will avoid setting yourself up for possible disappointments due to miscommunication and social faux pas.

Popularity: 5% [?]