How To Get A Second Date

June 20, 2008

I’ve been getting some alarming emails lately. Some of you have written to me saying that you’re having a hard time getting a second date with a girl. First of all, if you’ve truly been taking the tips I’m giving you and applied them with the girls you’re meeting, you shouldn’t be having this problem. In other words, you’re doing something wrong.

So, let’s get to the heart of the problem.

By the way, if you’ve made it to the point of getting a first date, congratulations. Most men don’t even get that far (they’re obviously not reading my advice). But, don’t pat yourself on the back just yet. Your work is just getting started.

Don’t Stop What’s Working

If you used my suggestions to mix in humor and cockiness with some playful jibes to keep a girl off her guard, you know how powerful it can be. Girls love that kind of behavior. It tells them that you’re not just a “nice guy” who’s going to do everything you can to please them. In fact, your cocky and funny approach is probably why she agreed to go out with you in the first place. A lot of guys think they can ease up after securing that first date.

Don’t.

Remember, she agreed to meet you on the first date because she felt an attraction for you. Why would you change what already works? If you want to get a second date, keep building your momentum during (and after) the first time you meet. Keep the conversation light. If she does something stupid, make fun of her. Say something about her hair. Say, “Don’t you hate when your blowdryer breaks?” Keep it light and funny with a cocky edge.

If she’s hot, she’s probably used to guys falling all over her, trying to please her. Do the exact opposite. Treat her like a little sister. Don’t tell her she’s beautiful. She has probably heard guys tell her that her entire life. And those guys don’t get second dates.

You won’t hear many women say this openly, but they like a guy who challenges them. Not someone who dotes on them. And if you dote on a girl during the first date, you’ll undo the feeling of desire in her that you worked hard to build.

After you and the girl meet for the first time, wait a few days before calling. That should be common sense by now. Don’t be one of the knuckleheads who calls the girl on the same day just to say “I had a great time.” Show her the edge that attracted her to you in the first place. Tell her, “After watching you spill your drink a few days ago, I’m still deciding if you deserve to take me out to dinner.”

You’re going to find that a girl who receives this kind of treatment from a confident guy will practically beg YOU for a second date. Aren’t you glad you have me in your corner?

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