How To Keep Control In A Relationship

July 16, 2008

Keep Control In a RelationshipToday, we need to talk about control. Your control. Having it, using it and protecting it. Here’s how it works. Women want control in a relationship. If they don’t get it, they become frustrated. And the frustration will usually be directed at you. One of the ways a woman subtly gains control is by expecting a guy to pay for things. Now, here’s where the 2 camps of men separate. On one side, you have the guys who understand the law of attraction with women. These are the savvy guys who realize the maintaining control builds attraction.

On the other side, you have the men who somehow allow control to be ripped from their grasp. And the more control they lose, the less attractive they become. Which side do you want to be on?

Economics, Sex And Control

Sex and economics are similar in at least one way. It’s about market demand. Think about when a new gaming console is released to the public. Everyone clamors for the gadget and the price skyrockets. Control shifts from the buyers to the seller of the console. Sex and attraction work in the same way. The more you want the woman, the higher the price goes. The more you pay, the more control you lose.

Women know this. It’s instinctive to them. And they’ll use it to get you to jump through hoops to prove yourself. That is, if you let them. When women know you’re into them, they begin to pull you along. They’ll coax you into taking them out to dinner, buying them things and other nonsense to win them over. Some people call this “courting.” I call it “being a wuss.”

Why Courting Rips Control From You

The problem with courting is that it’s a built-in control vacuum. In other words, each step you take to prove your worth and win over a girl sucks a slice of control out of your hands. Now, think about how that kills attraction. Women love to be around men who are in control. They want leaders. They want decision-makers. When control is ripped from your hands, it makes you less attractive. The irony is staggering.

How Attraction And Control Work Together

If you really want to be successful with the women you meet, don’t lose control. Let them take you to dinner. Let them pay. Let them pursue you. If you’re building attraction in women like I’ve been showing you, they’ll be happy to do it. A lot of men get caught in the notion that we’re supposed to pursue women and pay for everything. That’s nonsense. And worse, it puts you in a position where you lose control and become less attractive.

You want to be attractive to women? Stay in control, show your edge and don’t fall all over yourself trying to win her over.


5 Responses to “How To Keep Control In A Relationship”

  1. sara on January 26th, 2009 9:07 pm

    dreadful advice, in fact the opposite is true, if a woman insists on paying for things it is because she is unwilling to give up her independance, she does not want to feel she has to be in debt and therefore sacraficing her control. yes there are women out there who will take a man for what he’s worth but any idiot can spot them from a genuine lady. The most unattractive trait in a person is to be a miser with your ,money, if you have to buy the person your at a loss but if you think using money as a weapon is a good tool its a battle your going to lose.

    Women nowadays have jobs just as successful as men, they don’t need a man to be the sole bread winner, its a matter of pride, its gentlemanly. You say women like men in a position of power, paying the bill doesn suddenly put you in this position of heroism, finnaly he came to the rescue with his credit card, he signifies that the guy can take care of you, its like opening the door for a girl and walking her home. Its not the money, its the gesture.

    there’s no secret to maintaining control, at the start of every relationship everybody feels uneasy, nooone knows who’s going to wear the trousers so its natural to feel lost. If after a while of getting to know each other your still not comfotable with the control balance you’re in the wrong relationship.
    ie. if you feel you’re being taken advantage of, you’re with the wrong woman, you need to be with someone less dominant and possibly nicer, and if you dont have enough respect for your partner then you need someone less submissive.

    If despite realising this, you still want to stay with them, maybe you actually enjoy the imbalance of power. But using money or sex or insults as a means of gaining control is very unnatractive and if oyur serious about it, wont get you anywhere except caught in a false and hurtful circle

  2. JOEL on October 1st, 2009 6:06 am


  3. robin on October 18th, 2009 11:33 pm

    How Attraction And Control Work Together..
    That is the craziest thing I have ever read! Women like and wants a man
    that knows how to treat her.A man that wants a woman to buy his meal and
    pay for the dates is in one word..LOSER! And is really no man at all ..
    And knows NOTHING about women..

  4. susan osagie on April 15th, 2010 10:30 am

    how can i control my hot temper and aggressiveness in my relationship

  5. ariel on April 16th, 2010 7:57 pm

    this is sooo b.s. lulz…
    this should be called “how to be a self righteous bum”
    no. making a woman pay for dinner on the first date?
    i mean unless she really wants to or is desperate you’ll be single forever.
    i mean YOU probably were the one who asked her out right?
    make her chase you? no.
    shes not gonna go ape shit crazy over a guy she met
    at the gas station no matter how clever and “cocky” you were. she wont care.
    if thats the case shes settling most girls hate that shit and will tell all their friends about the weird guy would not stfu.
    im sorry this is just really funny.

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