Comments on: How To Make Sense Of A Woman’s Mixed Signals http://www.officialdatingresource.com/how-to-make-sense-of-a-womans-mixed-signals/ All the dating info you need Thu, 24 Jul 2008 01:50:30 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Nikola http://www.officialdatingresource.com/how-to-make-sense-of-a-womans-mixed-signals/#comment-2918 Nikola Thu, 17 Jul 2008 11:45:27 +0000 http://www.officialdatingresource.com/dating-advice/how-to-make-sense-of-a-womans-mixed-signals/#comment-2918 My hubby and I argue about this all the time. Both genders speak in riddles because of different fears, rejection/honesty, you name it. What works is communicating in a mannner in which you can get across what you're looking for...instead of saying "Do these pants make me look fat?" just say "I'm feeling a little bloated and hope these don't look as tight as they feel." There's nothing wrong in admitting we're not perfect (a lesson I'm still learning) but it lets the other person know where you're at without expecting them to be able to read your mind. My hubby and I argue about this all the time.
Both genders speak in riddles because of different fears, rejection/honesty, you name it.
What works is communicating in a mannner in which you can get across what you’re looking for…instead of saying “Do these pants make me look fat?” just say “I’m feeling a little bloated and hope these don’t look as tight as they feel.” There’s nothing wrong in admitting we’re not perfect (a lesson I’m still learning) but it lets the other person know where you’re at without expecting them to be able to read your mind.

]]> By: ManofLiberty http://www.officialdatingresource.com/how-to-make-sense-of-a-womans-mixed-signals/#comment-2884 ManofLiberty Tue, 15 Jul 2008 15:07:59 +0000 http://www.officialdatingresource.com/dating-advice/how-to-make-sense-of-a-womans-mixed-signals/#comment-2884 For the guys... Don't listen to the girl comments. Try it on for yourself like a coat, if it works and gets results, keep it. Otherwise, try something else. For the girls... No one (i.e. girls) likes to be told that doing this will cause that. We're not stimulus-response machines (or are we)? No one can reason their way through attaction. Mixed signals serves as a filter, and men that can navigate it will have sucess. For the guys… Don’t listen to the girl comments. Try it on for yourself like a coat, if it works and gets results, keep it. Otherwise, try something else.

For the girls… No one (i.e. girls) likes to be told that doing this will cause that. We’re not stimulus-response machines (or are we)?

No one can reason their way through attaction. Mixed signals serves as a filter, and men that can navigate it will have sucess.

]]> By: Jay http://www.officialdatingresource.com/how-to-make-sense-of-a-womans-mixed-signals/#comment-1168 Jay Tue, 22 Apr 2008 03:23:06 +0000 http://www.officialdatingresource.com/dating-advice/how-to-make-sense-of-a-womans-mixed-signals/#comment-1168 misogyny, anyone? Sheesh! misogyny, anyone? Sheesh!

]]> By: Sam http://www.officialdatingresource.com/how-to-make-sense-of-a-womans-mixed-signals/#comment-1127 Sam Mon, 14 Apr 2008 14:57:37 +0000 http://www.officialdatingresource.com/dating-advice/how-to-make-sense-of-a-womans-mixed-signals/#comment-1127 Maybe the first question from either side should be 'Why?', followed by listening. Maybe the first question from either side should be ‘Why?’, followed by listening.

]]> By: Mallory http://www.officialdatingresource.com/how-to-make-sense-of-a-womans-mixed-signals/#comment-1108 Mallory Sat, 12 Apr 2008 15:13:07 +0000 http://www.officialdatingresource.com/dating-advice/how-to-make-sense-of-a-womans-mixed-signals/#comment-1108 Simple translation of what a woman means: 'Does my butt look big in this?' = 'I'm feeling insecure because I'm not a size 0 with fake boobs like the models in that magazine you were reading. Just tell me you love me and you think I'm sexy.' 'Is this dress/these pants too tight?' = 'I've put on weight. Do you still find me attractive?' Correct response: is either, 'No, you look great.' or 'That other dress/pair of trousers looks much better on you.' Just pick something she wore recently. 'Fine.' said at the end of the argument. = 'I still disagree with you, but I don't want to argue anymore. And I'm upset now, because I hate when we're mad at each other. Do you still love me?' Correct response: Hug her and say: 'Even when we fight, I'm totally in love with you.' This may result in sex. 'Do you love me?' = 'You don't say "I love you" first, or often enough. Do you love me, or do you just want sex? I'm feeling vulnerable, like maybe I love you more than you love me, and I'm scared of getting hurt, or being used.' Correct response if you don't love her: 'I really care about you, and I value our relationship, but I'm not in love with you.' If you do love her: 'I love you, even when I forget to say the words.' And make sure you say them more often in future. Simple translation of what a woman means:

‘Does my butt look big in this?’ = ‘I’m feeling insecure because I’m not a size 0 with fake boobs like the models in that magazine you were reading. Just tell me you love me and you think I’m sexy.’

‘Is this dress/these pants too tight?’ = ‘I’ve put on weight. Do you still find me attractive?’ Correct response: is either, ‘No, you look great.’ or ‘That other dress/pair of trousers looks much better on you.’ Just pick something she wore recently.

‘Fine.’ said at the end of the argument. = ‘I still disagree with you, but I don’t want to argue anymore. And I’m upset now, because I hate when we’re mad at each other. Do you still love me?’ Correct response: Hug her and say: ‘Even when we fight, I’m totally in love with you.’ This may result in sex.

‘Do you love me?’ = ‘You don’t say “I love you” first, or often enough. Do you love me, or do you just want sex? I’m feeling vulnerable, like maybe I love you more than you love me, and I’m scared of getting hurt, or being used.’ Correct response if you don’t love her: ‘I really care about you, and I value our relationship, but I’m not in love with you.’ If you do love her: ‘I love you, even when I forget to say the words.’ And make sure you say them more often in future.

]]> By: Mara S http://www.officialdatingresource.com/how-to-make-sense-of-a-womans-mixed-signals/#comment-1107 Mara S Sat, 12 Apr 2008 14:58:25 +0000 http://www.officialdatingresource.com/dating-advice/how-to-make-sense-of-a-womans-mixed-signals/#comment-1107 ...Obviously written by a guy. As a girl, 'I need a little space' translates as, 'I have raging PMS and want to hide under my duvet with a hot pad and a pint of chocolate icecream to plot the demise of all mankind.' If you come back in a week I'll want sex. And don't do the 'send your own signals' thing... it's probrably what inspired the previously promising girl to flake off or give you the cold shoulder. The signal I would get would be 'This guy is not interested enough in me to ask me why I'm giving him the cold shoulder. Therefore he is not interested in me as an individual at all. Just wants sex.' I would write you off. If you think you are getting mixed signals, say so. Most girls respect and value honesty. It's perfectly okay something like 'I'm getting mixed signals here - I thought we had something going, and now you're giving me the cold shoulder. Please tell me why?' The main reason girls give mixed signals is because a lot of guys are dishonest. They pretend they are interested in a girl, or that they want a relationship, when they are truly only after sex and bragging rights. No girl wants to be seen as 'easy', because that still means slut. A girl wants to know that a guy respects her, and likes her as an individual, not an interchangable sex-partner. Be straightforward. Don't play games. Give sincere complements, and show the girl in your life that you value her for who she is. Be honest and open, and ask for the same in return. …Obviously written by a guy.

As a girl, ‘I need a little space’ translates as, ‘I have raging PMS and want to hide under my duvet with a hot pad and a pint of chocolate icecream to plot the demise of all mankind.’ If you come back in a week I’ll want sex.

And don’t do the ’send your own signals’ thing… it’s probrably what inspired the previously promising girl to flake off or give you the cold shoulder. The signal I would get would be ‘This guy is not interested enough in me to ask me why I’m giving him the cold shoulder. Therefore he is not interested in me as an individual at all. Just wants sex.’ I would write you off.

If you think you are getting mixed signals, say so. Most girls respect and value honesty. It’s perfectly okay something like ‘I’m getting mixed signals here - I thought we had something going, and now you’re giving me the cold shoulder. Please tell me why?’

The main reason girls give mixed signals is because a lot of guys are dishonest. They pretend they are interested in a girl, or that they want a relationship, when they are truly only after sex and bragging rights.

No girl wants to be seen as ‘easy’, because that still means slut. A girl wants to know that a guy respects her, and likes her as an individual, not an interchangable sex-partner.

Be straightforward. Don’t play games. Give sincere complements, and show the girl in your life that you value her for who she is. Be honest and open, and ask for the same in return.

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