How To Use Email And Private Messages To Catapult Your Dating Success

May 15, 2008

Email hell. That’s what it should be called. It’s the place in which guys find themselves when they’re getting to know a girl through email and can’t seem to take things to the next level. They’re stuck. And the more time that passes while they’re there, the less chance they’ll be able to climb out.

The problem is that most guys don’t have a plan of attack. They send emails to girls without knowing the steps they’ll need to take to push the connection forward. They get a response from a girl and then become like deer frozen in the headlights. They don’t know what to write next. These guys have no clue how to respond.

It kills me because the solution is so simple.

Listen. The goal of sending an email to a hot girl is not to make her like you. It’s to get her in front of you. If all you do is email back and forth, you have a virtual pen pal. Nothing more. I’ve talked before about how to write emails and messages that grab girls’ attention and draw them to you like moths to a flame. Now, you need to move things forward by meeting them in person.

Send her an email inviting her out to coffee. Offer a couple of different days and times and ask her to choose whichever works best for her. When you meet her, keep the conversation light and fun. Stay away from all the deep, meaningful topics. Your goal is to create attraction and desire in her. When you’ve made her feel a connection with you, tell her you want to continue the conversation back at your place. Now, you’re physically leading her. That strengthens the connection she’ll feel toward you.

The Follow Up Email

Most guys don’t even get this far. The lucky few who do blow it right here. They sit in front of the computer, agonizing over what to email the girl. Their imagination takes over and soon, they’re petrified. They torture themselves, thinking about how the girl will interpret their follow-up.

So sad.

Whether you’re using email, MySpace, Facebook, or any other messaging service, the follow-up is easy. Keep it light, playful and a little cocky. Don’t tell her, “It was really nice to meet you. I think we’d be great together.” That will probably kill any desire that you’ve worked hard to create. Instead, make fun of something she did while you were together. Did she trip? Did she spill her drink? Did she bump into the server?

Bring it up. Tease her and keep her on her toes. Remember, your job of creating desire and attraction in her never ends. Don’t become a “wuss” now. You’ve come too far. Show a little playful cockiness. Trust me, very few guys have the guts to do this. That’s why it’s so effective.

By the second date or third date, she’ll feel such a strong connection that she may not take no for an answer. The best thing is, she’ll think it was her idea. How sweet is that?

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